Aching

I don't know myself anymore. Who am I? What does it all mean? Why? Where? How? All questions that have plaguing me these past few days. I have no answers at least no real ones. I have a lot of feelings and my chest feels like it may explode from all the hurt and turmoil it feels. I wish everything would just happen without having to make any kind of decision or have any kind of answer.
I haven't left my bed in over 10 hours and I don't think I am going to today. I just want to feel nothing. I want to hate myself from the comfort of my pillow. Make sense right? Probably not to all of whoever the fuck still reads this.