You're looking at me like you've seen a ghost

Let me just say that I am soooooooo ready to kick this next semester in its genitals. I am going to pass my math class and hopefully all the other classes as well. I love that Madonna University is so close to my future I can almost taste it. I feel nervous. Its not a bad nervous but like a nervous excited.

Mike Thomas and Caitlin have gotten a gym membership at planet which excites me because that means i will have someone to come with me or go with them. I need to start taking my gym clothing with me so that way I can go straight from work. I was trying to talk Paulie into getting one but she is a little booger. This year may not be everything I want it to become but I am hopeful as always. Paulie and I have become really good friends. We plan on doing a lot of things these next two months. Driving range and working out then hopefully in the summer we shall golf. Its strange how I felt about her before and how I feel about her now. I am glad for it. I am glad that I have found someone I feel myself around again. Also I am glad I have found a friend in Caitlin. It’s nice how things work out for the better. I can now appreciate the silver lining.

Josh had his birthday party New Years eve. It was, for lack of a better word, interesting. Mike and I dressed up which is very unlike us. Everyone was very drunk and Mike and Caitlin were soooooooooo drunk. The ride home was loud and funny. Mike Thomas slapped Mike in the face and I totally thought Mike was gonna punch Mike Thomas. Luckily since Mike is edge no fight broke out and slow clam breathing took its place. Charlie played drunken music which I so happen to have on video with everyone singing along. Good times.

Things the last two days have taken a turn for the crazy. I don't even know what direction to look. My head is spinning and all I can think is," Drama rules everything around me." I feel badly for Josh. Honesty sucks even if its the best way to go it just hurts everyone involved sometimes; Rock and a hard place. I just hope that maybe this, for him, is the best. I mean who the fuck am I? Mike and I were talking over lunch today about how if Brooke is who he wants then we would be behind him 100%. I mean you don't pick who you fall in love with right? And there is no doubt in my mind that Brooke loves Josh. So currently i don't know what is happening. I just hope that in the end everyone ends up happy. I hope i end up happy. I pray everyday for happiness for myself, my friends and my enemies whoever they are. I guess thats all I have to say about all of that.

I talk a big game
But I can’t say it to your face
So I’ll just say it in a song.
And all those big dreams
And big words
Didn’t get me far.
Did they get you far?
Even when you want it
With all of your heart
A wish is only that
Even when you want it
With all of your heart
You can’t wish them back
There are two sides to every story
And smaller bits that break from the start.
You made me into a monster,
So I made you into art
And I gave it to the world
To rip and tear apart.
But every critic is every cynic
Who lacks the drive and heart
To do what I do
Or do what I have done
So they rip and tear it apart.
All those big dreams and big words
Didn’t get me far.
Did they get you far?
Even when you want it
With all of your heart
A wish is only that
Even when you want them
With all of your heart
You can’t wish them back.
There are two sides to every story
And smaller bits that break from the start.
With all of your heart
All those big dreams and big words
With all of your heart
They didn’t get me far.
Did they get you far?
Even when you want it
With all of your heart
A wish is only that
Even when you want them
With all of your heart
You can’t wish them back.
There are two sides to every story
And smaller bits that break from the start.