Typical Morning

Reflecting on my weird and stupid weekend.

Full of drama obviously since that whole thing with Paulie wend down.

Missi has been coming around lately which for me means "smiles 4 miles." I did miss her a lot.

Mike and I got into a fight which I feel pushed him further from me. ::makes face::

Mikes Mom was in town. We all went out to eat then to ikea to get Mike a bed frame that is until i burst into tears realizing this solidifying our break up. :/

Work I find out is keeps SERIOUS tabs on me. And my seriously keep tabs I mean nit picking...So I had Mike talk to a lawyer for me and am now keeping tabs on them. Ante up.

Josh benefit dinner. Went by myself. Awkward. Got to see a few people I knew and liked. Also everyone I don't and didn't like was there as well. I suppose thats fine with me. The best part about the night was went Josh walked me to my car. He started talking about how...I am his longest standing friendship and how much he just appreciated what we have been through as friends and is glad I am still there. All I could do to stop from crying was laugh. I told him that it was just meant to be. That Id rather be his friend then anyone else's in the world and one day we will grow old and happy together. He just did his Josh laugh and hugged me so tight. :,( Ill be one big giant mess if my oldest friend dies from fucking cancer. When I first got there we sat at the bar and talked for a good Half hour. He said he wasn't scared of death anymore and he said he is so calm when he thinks about it. All I could do was make and awkward joke to try and ease the weirdness. I seriously pray everyday for him. He said God might have something bigger in mind and his death maybe the start of that something bigger. ::sigh:: and he could be right. I just wish God could have picked a someone else if thats the case.

Please let him be ok.