Dear Granny

I am having a hard time. Actually a hard time is a bit of an understatement. I'm angry at myself. Mostly for this and sometimes because of that. I miss you. I wanted to make you proud. I wanted to be something more then what I am. Now I'm 25 and I don't have anything to show for myself. I wish you could see Rachel. She's so grown up. I'm glad she didn't see me today. Liz is getting very grown up too. She's just came and dragged me out of the bathroom at Chuck E Cheese. I wish you were here. Out of everyone in our family you were always there for me. You always knew what to say and comforted me when I needed it. I guess I've disappointed myself. My decisions have been poor. Up until these past two years I haven't done anything but disgrace myself and hurt those around me. I've been in counseling and its been good. Obviously to good since I'm making huge life altering decisions that is completely rockin my world. I just need some confirmation that I'm making the right decisions. Clearly youre not God and I should probably be saying a prayer but I'm scared of the answer. I'm scared of everything. I love Mike and I guess I'm scared to lose the only person aside from you who really made a difference in my life for the better. The friend. The lover. The comforter. I know I have nothing to give the opposite sex. I don't have anything to offer. I can't say that I've done anything but hurt him and his family. I wish I could but I'd be seriously fabricating everything. I'm a mess and I need someone. Please, Anyone. Send the nicest angel you can find. Just hurry because I'm dying. I know eventually I maybe ok but not today not tomorrow and probably not the rest of the week. Who am I kidding probably not even the rest of the month. In fact I'm moving again. :| please mail back soon.

I love you.

Your dearest Granddaughter,
Kate