Yep I just did that.

I just deleted all the post that were in this Journal. Not because I didn't want someone to read them even though I didn't. The main reason was because I didn't want someone to read this and think, "Wow she was really mad and bitter." ( Because I was)

I want this Journal to be about me personally; My wants, dreams, wishes, ect. I want to write a lot of letters because when I have something to say to someone its easier to write it out. I am going to post pictures on here. Of myself and probably others too. Lets start there. :)





This is me ^ Right now sitting in my boyfriends parents kitchen. Lol. I love Red lipstick and I look asian almost all the time. I am not asian I am actually American Indian so please don't ask me what nationality I am.

I love Hardcore and Poppunk music. A few of my favorite bands are, Saves The Day, New Found Glory, Bane, Kids like Us, Touche Amore, Etc. I love going to shows. I love dancing even though I look SUPER awkward when I do. I have very few friends and really, thats ok with me.

I am going to school for American Sign Language and communication. I love kids because they are honest and say the funniest things. Eventually I would love to get into Non-profit work because my passion in life is people and relationships. That and being able to help, even in the smallest way would bring me SO much joy.



This is the Love of my life!!!! He is super smart and annoyingly perfect. He always gets what he wants and never what he doesn't. We have been together for 7 years on May 28th 2011. It has been a long long road and not without complication at times.

We are now living together and oddly enough we are loving it life together. He also loves Hardcore music. He has been in several bands and loves making music.

School is a lot different though he wants to be in federal law enforcement and is kind of undecided about what he will do with that. Regardless he is stupid, smart and devilish handsome. ;) RAWR!



This is Shadow, the puma, and Jasper, "special". They are our cats who we are very obsessed with. We also love dogs we just happen to be in an apartment and can't have dogs.

Shadow is very loafie. He's about 30 pounds of pure fat cat. He loves to lay around on you on your stuff or just on the ground in front of you.

Jasper is very special and awkward. He loves to just annoy the shit out of you by sticking his weird cat butt right in your face when you least expect it.



This is Dan and Tiffany. Two of our very best friends. Dan picked up a lot of pieces for Mike and I about a year ago and placed them all back together. He gave us love and the necessary support we needed to fix the problems we didn't. He was an unwavering pillar in a very screwed up time. We love him dearly and would truly do anything for him. <3

Tiffany is Dan's girlfriend who we have known for, forever. She is a doll an a half and completely gorgeous. She is a lovely hardworking individual who has the determination of about 15 horny men attacking a prostitute. We met her when we were little tad poles testing the waters of what was our music scene. She has been in the Hardcore music scene since before I can remember and dances twice as hard as any of the bros. She is amazing, brave, tough as mother fucking nails.

They are both Vegan and make delicious vegan treats. I told Tiffany before they met that together, they could take over the know vegan world. Now that they have met I don't doubt that this will eventually happen. :)



This is Josh and Brooke. They are two of our longest standing friendships. We recently had a HUGE falling out, however with a little less pride and a lot more humiliation we have all said our sorry's and are now in the process of fixing our friendships.

Josh I have known since sophomore year of high school. He was a friend of mines boyfriend and when they broke up became my current boyfriends best friend. They are still currently friends and Josh is currently working on getting his degree in culinary arts.

Brooke is...Ambitious to say the least. Her ambition has lead to a license in Fire safety (A.k.a. She's a sexy Fire-woman), a rockin bod, her EMT license, and will be continuing school to become a Nurse. Her and Josh have been together for almost four years I believe and are currently working through some tough times. I know they will come out on top. I have faith. <3

Her and I have had our ups and downs to say the least. However we both have a very good understanding of one another that not a lot of people have. I am glad to be able to call her a friend again and talk to her.



This above is Carrie "mother fucking" Kocsis. She's is now a Chicago native with the very hard job of being a badass classical singer. She is one of Mike and mine's closest friends.

Carrie is also one of the funniest people I have ever had the pleasure to meet and can make any day seem like a good day. Mike and Carrie go way back to Jr. High. If you have ever been around Mike and Carrie at the same time be prepared to be patronized and made fun of because thats what they LOVE to do together. They are very very witty when in the same place, Carrie more so then Mike.

On a more serious note Carrie is one of the most logical and smart people I know. She Is beautiful and can sing the shit out of anything. Currently she is in a band and everyone should check them out because ONE day she will be famous. <3 She is working on her Masters in music and is seriously talented.



This right here is Mike Thomas and a very tall black man who I do not know. It is possible it is his pimp...cause Mike is a world renown prostitute.

Mike Thomas has just recently popped up into our lives shortly after Dan did and has become one of our closest friends. He is a nerd who love Hardcore music as well as the rest of us.

He is smart, funny, sensitive and LOVES long walks on the beach. ;) KIDDING. But seriously he loves long walks with his amazing cute, adorable, slobbery dog, BRUTUS! v





This is a picture of Myself and the two people who keep me going, my sisters. Rachel is 15 and Elizabeth is 21. They are two of my best friends and probably know me better then I know myself sometimes.

Elizabeth is more my friend then my sister and we watch over Rachel a lot more then she knows. I have helped raise them pretty much since my parents lost their mother fucking minds when we were very young. Since then it has been a very love/hate sorta relationship between us all. Now its more love since I can't see them as often as Id like.

They can make me laugh no matter how upset I am and I love them more then they will ever know. Id give up everything for them if it meant they would never have to feel hurt or any kind of sadness. They are one of the biggest parts of my ever changing world and will forever be two of the most important people to me.


I hope this entry had brought whoever reads this a little closer to me and my life. Ill Continue to post things in here periodically and hopefully there will be pictures to come along with it. :)